It has always been amusing for me to challenge the status quo, the things the most people are used to hear and see. The cliché in other words. I always like to unleash the second layer. To ask “why” then “why” and so on.
Lately, the topic of marriage stroked my brain as I see more people next to me getting married. So I was thinking to myself when would I or wouldn’t I ever get married. Then, I paused and rewind my memory back to all people whom I knew before and after they got married and was thinking deeply about the causes that might affected their decision. I started slowly to put down on a paper the below BULLET points about what causes marriage for our middle eastern men, a brutal reality in my opinion that might shock some and amuse others.
1. Sex… of course!!
None of those who read this blog before publishing couldn’t agree more on this… If you are living in the Middle East, you would agree as well. Sex before marriage here is very limited. Men grew up frustrated until their early twenties where they finally decide to get married, sometimes even before finishing their studies.
2. Religion
Islam encourages marriage as early as possible. It considers it as a fertility practice and the only way to have sex within the acceptance of God. Marriage in Islam is also a practice of having a partner in faith, building a family around the teachings of Mohammed and the right practice.
3. “Trapped with a BITCH girl” kind of marriage
Sherry Argov in her book “Why men marry bitches” encourages women to stand for themselves in their relationships with men. While reading the book, I noticed that many men were trapped and eventually fall into marriage with such girls who she described as “Bitches”. Of course we are not talking here about a bitch as a prostitute or some really dirty girl. We are talking about the type of girls who demand respect. Confident and clearly understand the dynamics of the relationships with men.
4. Continuous failure with women
Yes, it is true; I’ve seen it happening with most of my friends. Their continuous efforts to approach girls, take them for a date, having sex, or even extending to a relationship is part of the lifestyle they enjoy. A lot of them grew over-ambitious with women yet not all succeed to crack the code of pick-up. Those guys suffer from a disease called “The Friends-Zone” and they don’t know how to get out of it. This continuous failure to have girls around and probably more importantly to have girls who are willing to have sex with, is what drives men mad. Their frustration builds up to the extent of taking one of the most important decisions of their lives – Marriage. Now you ask me how could marriage be the solution if they are failures in getting women in the first place! Well, in the Middle East, arranged marriages are common. Simply the boy will tell the parents its time to get married, and the parents will do the rest. Simple isn’t it?
5. Social oriented marriage
Here marriage is dealt with as a practice of social affairs, of obtaining a social or financial wealth. You know those families whose girls are always desired by men seeking for a better status. It doesn’t matter how the girl look like, just as long as her dad or her family is from those elite and prestigious, no problem at all. Parents here play big role in encouraging, motivating and sometimes pushing their sons for marriage. You may ask now, does this really works? Hell yes, in the Middle Eastern societies this thing happens all the time. Lots of examples are every where, just try to dig into the people, unleash the first layer of marriage reasons and you will find it out yourself.
6. “The After Life” kind of marriage!
Here the man would have lived a life of hard working, acquired wealth and power. The only thing he forgot is to have a partner. He was glorious in his career and now oops he discovered that he is approaching his late 40s without having a kid or even a wife to take care of him in his last days. So, he would finally get off his butt to start searching for a fertile wife who can (if he still can!) bring him his junior…
7. “I’m bored” kind of marriage:
Believe it or not, many men have a big emptiness in their lives that they would fill it with marriage. In addition, these men don’t usually take marriage seriously. They think it would be a casual thing. An occasion nothing more nothing less… Eventually this type of people would soon get stressed out of the impact of their decision. They would fail to solve marriage issues especially when they already have children.
8. The “The right women” marriages
I personally believe this is the most compelling type of marriages. Knowing how important this decision is. Here men would have no worries of getting laid, successful in what they do for living and confident in what they pursue. They seek women, not out of desperation, rather out of CHOICE and selection. Throughout the years they have developed the criteria necessary to know and realize what type of women they really want.
Now, if you reading this please don’t tell me you qualify without the saying yes the following conditions:
- Being more than 25 years old
- Having the experience of living with a woman for more than 6 months
- Have dated (and/or slept-with) more than 15 women
Maybe this is crazy but if you see the impact of those experiences on your preferences, you will understand why they are important. Again preferences are important in general, I have written a post about preferences, I encourage you to read it.
So talking about THE women that it is right for you, this is the place where a man would feel and realize biological, emotional and mental coherence with the partner and develop a genuine conviction that this is the RIGHT ONE to keep for a life time.
Finally, it is really sad to see unhappy couples. It is even sadder to know that they don’t know why they are not happy. As Jack Canfield said in his book “the success principles” that your current situation is a result of the thoughts and believes you created 5 years back and your current thoughts and believes will shape the 5 years or maybe the decades you would live.
It is important to note though that this post is not meant to encourage people to get divorced and re-married! Not at all. In the end, Human Beings have an amazing capability to adapt to even the hardest situations ever. If you are not married though, I advise you to take marriage seriously and be wary of the responsibility ahead.
Please if you have any comment, feel free to type it below, I’ll make sure I’ll reply back as soon as possible. Also, if you find this post interesting, please forward the link to all your friends.
Cheers
